Till I See You Again...

Kreg,

               It is interesting how a dream of you is worth more than anything in life. I think that is because for a moment, you're with me again. We're together and I'm able to talk with you, laugh with you, and even fight with you. It's interesting how in these dreams with you, I always know something is a little off. I recognize that you're here, and yet you're not supposed to be here. It's a strange feeling, yet I push it off in order to just focus on you and the time I am getting with you. I never would have imagined that my favorite dream in life would be one with my dad. It's strange how life hands you cards that you would have never imagined. But I guess if it is in the Lords will, it is what we were sent here to do/overcome.
             Well, life has been pretty interesting lately. Isaiah and I have completed our degrees at the University of Utah and our next chapter will be attending medical school. Isaiah will officially be attending Duke Medical School and we are beyond excited to have the opportunity to attend a top ten medical school. I would have never dreamed that Isaiah would have gotten accepted here, but we are certainly thrilled.

            The other day, we went to your grave and as we were leaving I told Isaiah that he is going to need to know what you feel like because you might just spend a little time with him while he is in the rough grind of medical school. I tried to explain how feeling you is kinda like the spirit, but a little different. I don't know if it is going to be possible, but I would absolutely love it if you spent a little time with him. Feeling you is incredible, and although I don't feel it as much as when you first died, I still hold those experiences extremely close to me. When you're married and care so much for another person, you want them to have the same goodness in life that you've experienced. I also think that since you weren't able to meet him in real life on this earth, this could be the closest thing to you meeting him. It would kind of be like you getting to know him in a different way.
               Preparing to move to North Carolina is quite the experience for a high anxiety stress-aholic. Its interesting how I've always had issues with stress/anxiety, yet it has been getting worse and worse the past 5 years of my life. Anyways, everything has worked out extremely well and I feel like the Lord's hand has certainly been in my life, yet I still spend most of my days worrying about the days to come. For instance, when I went back and interviewed with an elementary school, she told me during the interview that I would have a position at their school if I wanted it, and yet I still get nervous something will fall through and I will be back there without a job. I know I need to just recognize that my life is in the Lord's hands, yet I still find myself worrying daily.

             Overall, we are extremely blessed and life is incredible. College was a wonderful experience for both of us, and although you weren't there to watch us graduate, I know that you were there in spirit.
I love you dad, I always have and I always will. I think of you daily and you will never be forgotten. I speak of you constantly to Isaiah and I will make sure I do this to my children as well. I miss your constant example and all you stood for, yet I guess I will just have to try to remember your light and example as I move forward in life. I love you.

Love,
Reebok