Finals are over (with the exception of a little one next Tuesday) which means I finally have time to blog again. So much has happened over the past couple weeks and I have tons to tell you. I hope that now that I have a little more time I can actually write on here quite a bit. I'm going to aim for weekly but we'll see how that goes.
It was your birthday last week and we decided to go and visit your gravestone. I always have mixed emotions about visiting the grave site. I know that you're always with me and that going to a grave site isn't where your spirit is, but at the same time I love going there, knowing that your body is there. This is going to sound totally creeperish, but there is something about being where your body is. Like its the closest thing I have to getting you back again. I remember one time laying on the ground where your body was directly six feet under just cause I wanted to give you a hug in whatever way I could. Pathetic? Yes, but will I do it again, most likely. Although it has been almost six years since you've passed away, I still fight it. I thought it would get easier with time, and in a way maybe i've gotten more used to it, but I think at the same time it is equally as hard. A couple of weeks ago in sacrament, it seemed like a lot of people we're talking about miracles that had occurred in their lives. I think I'll always have a hard time with that, probably just cause I'm jealous :) I remember thinking we were going to get that miracle for so long, and it was the weirdest realization when I had a feeling we weren't.
Anyways, like I said A LOT has happened to us lately. I'm going to start out with telling you about what has happened to Isaiah lately first. So he is working at going to medical school and although he is working at his undergraduate right now in bio medical engineering, he still has to do tons of stuff to apply for medical school. We were talking a couple of weeks ago about how he needs so many hours of physician shadowing and all I could think of is how amazing it would have been if he could have shadowed you. He would have loved being with you and I can only imagine how much he would have looked up to you and loved being with you. Plus it would have been totally convenient if he was able to shadow you rather than searching and asking for other doctors to allow him to. But I guess its just all part of the path we are supposed to be taking.
Along with these pre-requisites, Isaiah also had to take the MCAT. He took the MCAT last month and when he got home he said he wasn't sure how well he did, which made me a little nervous cause I knew this meant a ton to him. Well, he got his score back on Tuesday and the first thing I did after he told me was call mom. Whenever I was little and something great had happened, I'd always run and tell mom, and then run and tell you. I hadn't thought about this for a while but on Tuesday after I told mom, I felt as if I still was supposed to tell you. It was hard not being able to call you up and hear your excitement, but I just have to remember that that just isn't our path. But, I'm telling you now.... Isaiah did absolutely incredibly!! He got a 33 on the MCAT and the average score of getting accepted into medical school is a 30. Dad we were so stoked!! I would have loved to listen to you and Isaiah talk about the test, and how he did, but maybe you guys can talk about it in the eternities to come?? Just don't forget to ask him about it, K dad?? With that said, we have high hopes about getting into medical school somewhere. I told him he even has to apply to The Medical School of Virginia, so he could follow in your footsteps if we felt like that is the route we should take. But either way I was so proud of him and how hard he worked.
Lastly, another major thing I've decided to do lately is sign up for another marathon. Crazy? Maybe, but either way i'm going to try!! I haven't ran too much since my last one which has caused this first week of training to be rough but that's okay and hopefully i'll get in the swing of things quickly. I ran 6 miles Monday, 6 miles Tuesday, and yesterday I ran to your grave and back which was 11 miles. I have always loved that route. It gives me something to run for and in a way I feel as if I am running to you. It's cool how at times when I'm pushing it and trying so hard to keep going, I know that you are helping me, as well as my Heavenly Father. I couldn't do the training, let alone the race, if I didn't have you two. Last time when I ran the Layton Marathon, I dedicated it to you, and I'll be doing this one for you as well. Coolest thing about it, you've ran in this race too!! Mom said you guys did the 10k, which is awesome and I hope that I can make you proud as I attempt the marathon.As always I love you and miss your beaming example. I hate how time passes and with that, my memory fades and I cannot always remember the details of your incredible personality. But that's just part of our path, right? With that said, there is one conversation I will never forget. It was about a week before you died and we knew what that your life was coming to an end. You were laying in your hospital bed, cracking jokes as usual even though I'm sure your pain, frustration and heartache was excruciating. I had a dream a couple weeks before that you had already died and that I was crying to mom about how all I wanted to do was tell my dad I loved him... It was a short dream but had a profound effect on me during the last couple weeks of your life. With that dream in mind, I went to your side in your hospital bed and told you my fear of not being able to tell you I love you. You clearly said to me that you would always love me, even if we weren't able to verbally say it to each other. I've held onto that for six years and will until I get to see you again. The coolest part about all of that is that Heavenly Father knew exactly what I needed. I believe I had that dream for a reason, and although it was extremely difficult at the time, I get to still repeat those words you said to me now.
I'll love you forever,
Marie a.k.a Reebok
Spiritual Thought for the Post: I've been listening to LDS talks while I train and there was one by Brad Wilcox and it was incredible!! It talked about how as we go through the atonement process the Savior takes us back to where we were before mistakes were made, but also builds us up even more and makes us even greater than we were before the mistake... Totally incredible! I also love Elder Anderson's talk entitled, "What thinks Christ of Me?" It gives amazing insights about making sure we are living lives that allow others to see that we are indeed Christians, and the thought of what Christ will think of me and my works when I eventually meet him and fall at his feet. I can't wait to keep up the running and the listening to Conference talks!!
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