Change...

So i decided that i would start conducting my blogging in a different way than i have in the past. I was talking to a co-worker today at Visions and she was telling me about a woman who created a blog where she just wrote down memories and things about her daughter who passed away. I've come up with the idea that I'm going to treat every blog post as if I had the opportunity to write my dad a letter. I know that it was 5 years ago that I lost my dad, but the pain is still there everyday and there are so many things I wish I could tell him about. Here it goes....

Dear Dad,

I miss you like crazy and think of you everyday. But rather than getting all mushy right now, I'll tell you about whats been happening in my life. Lets see, currently i'm in the Young Women's presidency in our old family ward and I absolutely love it. Wendy Divine is the president, Trish is the 1st counselor, I'm the 2nd counselor and Beth is the Secretary. I absolutely love working with Wendy and I love how I have the opportunity to work with someone that you and mom knew so well. I love the girls more than I imagined and I feel as if i was placed in this position because I still had a few more things to learn from Young Womens.

Two weekends ago, mom organized for the family to spend a weekend in Yellowstone. It was a wonderful opportunity to get away from school and enjoy the family. When I got up to the cabin and started talking with mom she explained that the reason why she organized it was because you and her decided that you would go to yellowstone as a family. We did it :) We had a wonderful time (although it would have been incredible if you were there) and we got to build better relationships with all the family members!

Me and one incredible guy

Nick, Faby and their beautiful girl Nicole

So oddly enough, I remember random things from my childhood and this was one that stuck with me... I remember one day me and you were driving in the car and you pointed out a huge rock on the mountain and said you always hoped to climb the mountain and reach that rock. Well I told Isaiah about that and asked him if we could get to the rock since you never had the chance and we did! It was great to do it in your memory and accomplish it for you.

Another thing that I've done that I would love to talk to you about was a MARATHON! I ran all 26.2 miles and it was a wonderful experience. I did that in memory of you too. Like I said above, I just can't get over how incredible you were, and it stays with me everyday. :) I remember at about mile 17 I started playing the song "Take On Me" by AHA. This was one of the songs that reminded me of you and i just played it over and over and over again. It kinda made me feel like in a way maybe you were with me. Although its hard knowing you're gone, it was incredible knowing that it was possible that you were with me through the entire marathon. Luckily we took some pictures!

Me and Meish before we began

I think this was about mile 20

Finishing it off!

My sweet "boyfriend" waiting for me at the end

The most important thing that you've missed while you were gone was that I had the opportunity to get married in the temple. Right before I met him, I remember saying that I would never find anyone as good enough as my dad. Dad, I honestly did. He is such a hard worker and treats me in a way that you would be proud of. He makes me laugh everyday and always knows how to make me feel better. I wish you could meet him and that you could have been there when i started dating him, but i'm trying to remember that wasn't part of our plan.

I wore your mom's dress :) I thought this could be one amazing opportunity to have you and her part of my life.

A picture of mom, nick, aubrey and their spouses. We've grown up quite a bit!

I pray most nights that I'll be able to have a dream of you and talk with you, since i've met Isaiah, I've prayed that he'd be able to have a dream about you and meet you. I know its unrealistic, but i just wish he could meet you.

When you first passed away people used to ask me what i'd miss about you most, it was always easy. I would answer without any hesitation, you're example. I've still never met anyone like you, willing to love everyone and treat everyone as your best friend. Everyday I hope that I have 1/1000th of your kindness. I love you dad. You make me want to become a better person. I can't wait till the day i get to see you again. I'll give you the biggest hug in the world.

Love you everyday,

Marie a.k.a Reebok.