As life keeps progressing

Dear Dad,

Its been quite the intense past couple weeks, school keeps us insanely busy which is for the best i guess... Isaiah works extremely hard and i just try to keep up with his amazing grades. Thanks for always helping me with my homework and teaching me the importance of grades.

Isaiah is going into bio medical engineering and it keeps him extremely busy! He tends to wake up at about 4am sometimes to study and make sure he's caught up on all his homework which i am fine with as long as i get to stay in bed :) I wonder if you ever did this. It would be incredible if you could tell him all about medical school and the hardest parts of it all. Here is a picture of his lab partner as they were dissecting a frog. He's excited to do it on real cadavers someday... Nasty.

Its fall break this week and although it should be relaxing, papers and tests of upcoming week fill my mind. Although we recognize the work that needs to be done by next week, we've managed to have some fun as well. Yesterday we went to the humane society and played with the dogs. I would love to get a cute dog, but apparently mother feels different... I started remembering when you talked mom into letting me get molly, thank you for doing that for me. I remember being so excited when you brought the new dog to the house I was babysitting at that night. I was beyond excited.

Max the monster, he was huge!! I swear he was larger than me and as tall as Isaiah if he was on hind legs!

We named this puppy scruffy... cause he was so scruffy, we loved him :)

It makes me feel really bad for all of the dogs that just have to sit in kennels alll day with an occasional walk and no families to love them I can't wait until one day when we have the time for a cute animal :)

So isaiah would be beyond mortified if i told you this, but he doesn't usually read this so i think we'll be alright :) He bore his testimony on Sunday and I guess someone sitting by beth said, "He looks like a movie star". It made me glad that I have a second opinion and that i'm not the only one obsessed with his looks.

If you ask me he should be a model... but maybe i'm a little bias... :)

One thing that I've learned in the past couple years is that everyone comes into your life for some reason or another. I'm so grateful for all of the wonderful people in my life and i swear that Heavenly Father felt bad for taking you away so he bombarded me with other wonderful people. I still can't believe you're gone. I remember simple memories like you saying, "... after mating" in an Australian accent after everything me and my friends said one day. I also remembering getting so upset with you because i was four minutes late to cheer practice one day... i'm really sorry for over reacting for nothing, I know now how pointless it is to get upset with the people around you for no reason and you never know when you're going to lose them. Although many people wouldn't believe this, a part of me still doesn't understand that you're gone. Its like i haven't seen you in five years and i'm slowly forgetting things about you and our relationship, but i don't feel as if you're really dead. I don't think my mind can honestly comprehend that you're really gone. Its been a rough five years, I've struggled with all of this probably more than normal people would but for some reason i just can't get over you. I remember singing i'm a slave for you by Brittany spears every time you'd ask me to take your shoes from the family room to your room, but i would do anything to be able to do that for you again. You really don't know what you have until its gone. I always knew you were more special than all the other parents out there but i had no idea that you'd be taken so soon from my life. The one thing i hope for from this blog is that i'll be able to appreciate the people in my life before they're gone, the way i should have recognized how lucky i was to have you, and for anyone reading it to maybe gain another appreciation for the people in their life that they love. I must say, I think i have learned this with isaiah. Although i still have a lot to learn, after losing you, I recognize that I could lose him any moment in time. Although i'll get him for eternity, you never know when your time on this earth will get cut short. Even though this resulted in my crying on my honeymoon because i didn't ever want to lose him, I'm grateful that I can recognize this. Thank you for teaching me everything I know. I love you, think of you everyday and look forward to the day I get to wrap my arms around you and introduce you to my sweet husband.

I'll love you forever, no matter what happens

Marie a.k.a Reebok.

p.s. Steve Jobs died of pancreatic cancer too! I guess it hits the best :)