The feelings of daily life...

Dad,
            So many things have come into my mind in the last few weeks that I wanted to tell you, yet I couldn't find the time to take a seat and write my feelings. I don't know if that was because i am scared to get emotional and once again recognize that you are really gone or I really just don't have the time. No matter what  i love you and think about you everyday.
            A couple days ago I was at work playing with a little girl who's mom was getting her hair done. After about an hour, her dad came in to pick her up and take her with him for the rest of the day. She started hysterically bawling because she had to go with her dad. It reminded me of the past, when I was bawling because you came to pick me up from grandmas house. I remember that you had to give me a barbie wand to get me to leave with you. Oh, how i wish i could leave with you now. I would probably weep, but it wouldn't be an upset having to go with you cry, it would be a cry that had to do with unbelievable happiness and content.
             This reminds me of another time where I went to work with you because mom was out of town and I didn't have anyone to stay with during the day. For lunch you took me to a Thai restaurant that you loved and I remember specifically sitting at a table on the west side of the restaurant. I remember starting to cry because I missed mom and didn't like that she was gone on a trip. If only I could have known. I had  my incredible father, within arms reach who I could have touched and been grateful to have in my life. Dad, I'm sorry I didn't acknowledge how lucky i was to be sitting at that table with you.
           Some other things that have caused me to think back on your life are the people I come into contact in my daily life. I see Allen Hill a few times a week and all i can ever think of is how much he loved you. In a way it hurts because of how much i long for you to be able to laugh and talk with him. Its the same way when i go to your parents house. I know how much they miss you. I can tell there's a part of me that they love, simply because I am your daughter.
          Dad, its kinda ridiculous how life just really isn't fair. It was interesting, today in sunday school we were discussing how the spirit world is actually on this earth.  As we were discussing this, a couple people mentioned that they thought this was kinda weird, knowing that we weren't alone. All i could think of was how grateful I am for it. I know for a FACT that I have felt you in the temple and I know that you help me in my daily life. Heavenly Father's plan really is perfect, I don't know if I could be able to take your death if I didn't know that you were right here on the same earth with me.
        Dad, sometimes I get sad and frustrated with you being gone. I understand that Heavenly Father needed you, but did he really need you more that I need a dad here on earth? All I want is my dad. I think about you daily, whether its a quick thought of you at work, or crying to Isaiah, you are never forgotten. I get frustrated remembering that you weren't there to give me a hug after I got sealed to Isaiah, or there in the flesh so I could glance at you while I was being sealed to my sweet husband. Dad its even hard imagining having children and having them not know their grandpa kreg. I hate knowing that Isaiah will not be able to meet you in this life. I just wish that he could see your example and understand why i think of you in the highest regards. I try to articulate your incredible attributes, but there is no way i can fully explain who you are.  Dad, its not fair. I get so frustrated sometimes, I know that everything happens for a reason, and i know the gospel is true more than anything I know in my life, but i miss you and don't understand why i have to. I miss being able to joke with you and hug you and even take you shoes to your room for you. Isn't it pathetic? Dad, I haven't talked to you in over 5 years and it kills me. I wish I could watch you walk in the door and I could just throw my arms around you.

I'll love you forever dad,
Marie, aka reebok